Being The Whole
By Lisa Templeton, Ph.D.
Published in August 2019 Luminous Wisdom: SOPHIA
Reflecting within, I sense my light and all the shadows it casts. These shadows cannot exist without light and sometimes it appears that the lighter the light, the darker the dark. This paradigm exists within us all. I believe that our purpose is about understanding how to stand in both the darkness and the light that is within. Each side needs each other to be whole.
Many of my greatest difficulties in life have led to the most profound guidance and growth. I have struggled with infertility, finishing my education and obtaining my PhD, running a business, as well as pain and loss throughout life. Yet, through these dark times, I have found more light within myself.
Once I began to notice and shine my light, I inevitably saw more shadows. To observe this dark place felt foreign and uncomfortable. It was full of negative emotions. Yet, as I have continued to lean into the dark, I build more tolerance, compassion, and understanding of it. At times, I can feel greedy or be isolative and not want to interact with others. I have noticed thoughts comparing myself in negative ways with others or speaking negatively to myself. From anger to jealousy, my shadow is always there. Yet, this is the shadow of us all. This is part of our humanness that most don’t realize is shared by so many others.
As I work to integrate my light and dark, I have learned how they really complement each other. When I direct compassion toward my darkness, I realize why the dark was created in the first place – out of fear and separation. This part of me is not evil or wrong, it is fractured and trying to protect me. Of course, the darkness has a convoluted, irrational way of protecting.
This is where the light has much to teach. Our dark parts are afraid and isolated, in need of direction and rational thought. The ultimate protection is not fear, but love. Yet, fear can sometimes persuade me to move solely into the shadows. Gratefully, the light beckons me back with love. This is a process of balancing the light and dark that gets easier and more joyful with practice. As I practice, I feel more whole and integrated with myself. Try to hold gratitude for both sides without any self-judgment and offer compassion to yourself in each moment.
We cannot truly experience joy without pain. We cannot openly feel the expansiveness of love without having felt the constriction of fear. When I sit in the darkness of color and glow, I am illuminated. I am authentically myself. When I practice standing in the balance of the whole, I feel the true resiliency and power of connection within. Even in the midst of my shadow, I am engulfed in light; I am immersed in love. When I own my shadow and honor my light, the edges of my dark glow.