Be A Compassionate Friend To Yourself - An excerpt from Dr. Lisa's book, Letting It Be: Mindful Lessons Toward Acceptance

AS WE CONTINUE TO OBSERVE OUR THOUGHTS, EMOTIONS and behaviors, we may still find a voice deep within that is negative or doubtful about our worth, abilities and personhood. This can manifest as a conflict inside of our head; the age-old battle between the angel and the devil; the id and the ego; the judger and the judged; the inner observer and the thinker; and the victim and the bully.

The conflict itself creates two polar opposites; a dichotomy within that can affect our thoughts, our emotions, as well as mindful choices. Yet, the polarization is an illusion. There is no separate self; there is no judge and there is nothing to judge. Conversely, I am the judge and I am also the judger. As we’ve already learned, we can choose our thoughts, our emotions, our behaviors, and hence, our inner dialogue between these two counterparts. Both sides need to be understood in order to integrate them.

We are one with our observer, our divinity, our sacred self, and our inner essence. Use this tool to guide you. We must observe all parts of our self with love in order to work in concert within. We can choose to be our own worst enemy or a compassionate friend to ourselves, depending on the past patterns of dialogue with our self and others. Look a bit more deeply within at your dialogue and relations within yourself.

We may hear thoughts in our mind that we don’t like and so we work hard to force the thoughts away, push them down. This, in essence, has created the battle. In forcing the thoughts away, we are creating an “other” and perpetuating the conflict between ourselves and this other being. This “other” continues to incessantly chat away about what we did wrong, how we are not enough and how we need to behave differently. For most of us, these are thought patterns that we have had for most of our lives, not realizing they are even there, much less that we can change them. Instead, we have worked to fight them, push them down, and create something separate from ourselves.

Separation within begets a perception of separation outside of ourselves. Our interpersonal relationships offer a lot of insight into what is happening within. How are you thinking about other people? What judgments do you have about them? By seeing your relationship with others as a mirror unto your own relations with yourself, you can see your inner world more clearly. When you are looking at others, see yourself for the reality of what you are creating. When we start to learn our power through self-knowledge, we can take ownership for our creations, and then we can more easily choose to be a compassionate friend to ourselves. Understand what you are creating and change it to align with the love you really are.

If we believe ourselves to be separate beings and treat others as such – this creates a sense that we are alone. Yet, we are not alone; we are all connected in a reflection of ourselves and each other.

***If you would like to read more, please check out 

Letting It Be: Mindful Lessons Toward Acceptance at